I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
