Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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