i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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