Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
