I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
