I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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