Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
