I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
