Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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