I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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