I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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