dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
