Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
