Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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