So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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