Kiss
Puke
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
