I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
