I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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