so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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