you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
