wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
