I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
