dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dear god my vagina.
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