Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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