Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
