Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
