But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
