Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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