Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
