No awkward lesbian experiences without me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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