But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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