I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
