pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Apparently you make a good broom.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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