I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Never joke about your clitoris.
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