so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
