people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
