He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
