Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
