Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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