it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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