She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
