if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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