the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
