That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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