the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
