I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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