ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
