he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They took my balls.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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