So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
