Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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