planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
