he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
